In-Season, Off-Season and Being Realistic

I have a photo shoot tomorrow.  The second of two I managed to schedule in the past two weeks (for freeeeeee), the shoots are meant to highlight my fitness.  We're talking about fitness model cute like you'd see on the cover of Shape Magazine.  You know, the "I'm so damn happy to be working my ass off right now and I'm not even sweating a bit" look.  Totally realistic.

Now while everyone is all, "OMGgggeeee you're gonna look soooo good (remember I work at Hooters when reading that)", I'm secretly freaking out over here.  The first reason is because I'm a woman and that's just the shit we do.  The second reason has to do with where my body composition is within the scope of my "season."

Not current Sauce.  Also not current tan.

Here's the deal, they way I look on contest day is NOT the way I look most of them time.  That day is the culmination of eight to twelve weeks of incredibly measured - and I mean weighing and measuring everything I put in my face - dieting, tailored workouts, a week of specified water and carb depleting/loading and a tan so unnatural it's frightening.  It's complicated shit that leaves me looking downright amazing.

Additionally, because I am required to cut to a very low percentage of body fat, especially for a woman, I go through periods where the goal is to increase my muscle knowing some amount will be lost as I work toward my show date.  To put it simply, when you lose fat you also lose muscle no matter how you train.  On the same note, you have to gain some fat to increase muscle.  The two are, somewhat unfortunately, linked.  It's just the way it is.

And that, my friends, is where I find myself now.  Currently, I am finishing a period of muscle building that many people call "off-season."  I prefer to call it "improvement-season" so I don't go off the deep end and stuff my face with all things horrible for me.  Now I am at the end of this period I will begin my season and what is lovingly known as "cutting" on February 1st.  Yes, I still look pretty damn good all things considered.  But I don't have crazy, individually defined abs and shit.

Of course, because I'm a chick and because it feels awesome to go on stage and feel hot, it's hard not to have doubts about your body during this period of the contesting cycle.  So that's part of the reason I decided to do these shoots now (there is another, bigger reason that I might divulge later depending on how things turn out).  I wanted to not only show the world what I look like as a "normal" person, but also show myself that I'm fit and healthy and good no matter what time of year it is or where my body fat percentage lies.  The fact of the matter is that we all have doubts and often times many of those reside only in our own minds; that's the trouble with insecurity.

So while I'm parading around in spandex in front of camera tomorrow, I task you with realizing your awesome as you stand now, today.  Yeah, there is always room for improvement, but that's the beauty of life.

Go ahead and declare your awesome!